Return optional error from ApplyArgsManOptions

Summary:
Also pass in a (for now unused) reference to the params.

Both changes are needed for the next commit.

This is a partial backport of core#25648
https://github.com/bitcoin/bitcoin/pull/25648/commits/fa468bdfb62dec286cb977db78d3e47b64dafeba

Test Plan: ninja all check-all

Reviewers: #bitcoin_abc, Fabien

Reviewed By: #bitcoin_abc, Fabien

Differential Revision: https://reviews.bitcoinabc.org/D15751