sync: Use decltype(auto) return type for WITH_LOCK

Summary:
Now that we're using C++17, we can use the decltype(auto) return type
(available since C++14) for functions and lambda expressions.

As demonstrated in this commit, this can simplify cases where previously
the compiler failed to deduce the correct return type.

Just for reference, for the "assign to ref" cases fixed here, there are
3 possible solutions:

• Return a pointer and immediately deref as used before this commit
• Make sure the function/lambda returns declspec(auto) as used after this commit
• Class& i = WITH_LOCK(..., return std::ref(...));

References:

1. https://en.cppreference.com/w/cpp/language/function#Return_type_deduction
2. https://en.cppreference.com/w/cpp/language/template_argument_deduction#Other_contexts
3. https://en.cppreference.com/w/cpp/language/auto
4. https://en.cppreference.com/w/cpp/language/decltype

Explanations:

1. https://stackoverflow.com/a/21369192
2. https://stackoverflow.com/a/21369170
3. Item 3 in Effective Modern C++ (Scott Meyers) via jnewbery

This is a backport of core#20495

Depends on D14641

Test Plan: ninja all check-all

Reviewers: #bitcoin_abc, Fabien

Reviewed By: #bitcoin_abc, Fabien

Differential Revision: https://reviews.bitcoinabc.org/D14642