Make whitebind/whitelist permissions more flexible

Summary: This is a partial backport of Core PR16248 : https://github.com/bitcoin/bitcoin/pull/16248/commits/e5b26deaaa6842f7dd7c4537ede000f965ea0189

Test Plan:

ninja all check-all

Reviewers: #bitcoin_abc, Fabien

Reviewed By: #bitcoin_abc, Fabien

Subscribers: Fabien

Differential Revision: https://reviews.bitcoinabc.org/D5928