Maintaining up to 100000 INVs per peer is excessive, as that is far more than fits in a typical mempool. Also disable the "overload" penalty for PF_RELAY peers.
Partial backport of core#19988:
https://github.com/bitcoin/bitcoin/pull/19988/commits/de11b0a4eff20da3e3ca52dc90948b5253d329c5
Depends on D9550.